I am thrilled at the news of your first pregnancy!
I thought I would share with you some reflections during motherhood, however simple they may be.
You have peeked at many journals of mine:) Now here is one written especially for you in hopes of helping, encouraging, and challenging you in your pursuit of holiness in your new role as a mom. Keep in mind, I am writing to remind myself of these things, as well...
I'll love you always,
Charity
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Keep Calm and Speak Softer
Elizabeth Eliot's Four Principles to establish verbal authority are good rules of thumb to prevent your children delaying obedience:
1. Speak the child's name in a calm tone of voice
2. Establish eye contact
3. Issue a one word command, "No" or "Come"
4. Do not repeat
Number one has been good for me to practice the most. I tend to get louder to get my child's attention, but really it's better to stay calm and get softer with my tone.
Establishing eye contact is also important because your child could be distracted and you need to make sure they are listening to you.
Number 4 is easier said than done, lol!
1. Speak the child's name in a calm tone of voice
2. Establish eye contact
3. Issue a one word command, "No" or "Come"
4. Do not repeat
Number one has been good for me to practice the most. I tend to get louder to get my child's attention, but really it's better to stay calm and get softer with my tone.
Establishing eye contact is also important because your child could be distracted and you need to make sure they are listening to you.
Number 4 is easier said than done, lol!
Emphasize Jesus' Grace More Than Your Child's Goodness
This concept has changed the way I praise my kids when they have done the right thing. Rather than only saying, "Good job for obeying, Emmaline! You are such a good girl!", I try to focus the praise on Christ and say, "Thank you, Lord for giving Emmaline the strength to obey and for working in her heart!"
The worst thing we can do to our kids is make them rely on themselves to do good and never consider the fact that without Christ, they can do nothing.
The worst thing we can do to our kids is make them rely on themselves to do good and never consider the fact that without Christ, they can do nothing.
Relationships Are Always Worth It
If you are a task-oriented person (like myself) this is a concept you may struggle with from time to time.
"Aw man! I chose to play trucks with my boys and now look at how much laundry has piled up!"
Worth it.
"Oh darn, I should have not gone to the park with the family because I didn't get to clean the kitchen."
Nope, that was worth it, too.
When all is said and done, relationships matter more than tasks...which is a crushing realization for the die-hard-do-list-doer, but if it makes you feel better, put 'invest in relationships' on your do-list and get it done!
"If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff." -CMW
"Aw man! I chose to play trucks with my boys and now look at how much laundry has piled up!"
Worth it.
"Oh darn, I should have not gone to the park with the family because I didn't get to clean the kitchen."
Nope, that was worth it, too.
When all is said and done, relationships matter more than tasks...which is a crushing realization for the die-hard-do-list-doer, but if it makes you feel better, put 'invest in relationships' on your do-list and get it done!
"If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff." -CMW
Jesus Understands YOU
In other words, He was tired and had to still meet people's needs.
The story of Jesus feeding the 5000 jumped out at me tonight in a whole new way (Mark 6).
First, Jesus and His disciples were trying to recover from a long day and were in need of quiet and rest.
Mark 6:31 says there were so many people coming and going that "they had no leisure even to eat".
YUP! I can identify with that :)
They got in a boat to withdraw to a desolate place (sounds nice at times, haha!) and thousands of people ran ahead of them and got there before them. (Yikes!).
Ok, I'm envisioning you, as a mama, running on lack of sleep, not able to eat, desperate for peace and quiet when lo and behold, Ryan and Brady wake up and need you (it will probably feel like their are thousands of them in that moment, haha).
The people were NEEDY, just like your precious twins will be, and their were many that needed healed (Luke 9:11). Look at the response of Jesus when He came ashore:
"He had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd".
Oh, that this might be our response as mothers! In many ways, our little ones are lambs in need of our loving guidance and care. May we have compassionate hearts toward them as we tend to their needs.
Oh and guess how the story ends? It got really late and the people were hungry.
GO FIGURE!
The story of Jesus feeding the 5000 jumped out at me tonight in a whole new way (Mark 6).
First, Jesus and His disciples were trying to recover from a long day and were in need of quiet and rest.
Mark 6:31 says there were so many people coming and going that "they had no leisure even to eat".
YUP! I can identify with that :)
They got in a boat to withdraw to a desolate place (sounds nice at times, haha!) and thousands of people ran ahead of them and got there before them. (Yikes!).
Ok, I'm envisioning you, as a mama, running on lack of sleep, not able to eat, desperate for peace and quiet when lo and behold, Ryan and Brady wake up and need you (it will probably feel like their are thousands of them in that moment, haha).
The people were NEEDY, just like your precious twins will be, and their were many that needed healed (Luke 9:11). Look at the response of Jesus when He came ashore:
"He had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd".
Oh, that this might be our response as mothers! In many ways, our little ones are lambs in need of our loving guidance and care. May we have compassionate hearts toward them as we tend to their needs.
Oh and guess how the story ends? It got really late and the people were hungry.
GO FIGURE!
Put Socks On Yo Feet
I do not like my floor covered in crumbs and I especially do not enjoy my feet coated in crumbs from the floor 😤 If I am just not able to sweep that moment, the best solution is to stick a pair of socks on my feet so I won't be constantly reminded of the crumbs.
What "socks" do you need to put on to alleviate the pain of something being undone? For example, it is highly unlikely for there not to be dirty dishes out on the counter during the day, but I try to wipe the counters and put the dishes in the sink to do later. If you aren't able to get a shower, throw your hair up in a messy bun and put on mascara. If you don't have a chance to read the Word, turn on a sermon while folding clothes.
You are so productive that you probably will be a 'barefoot mama!'
What "socks" do you need to put on to alleviate the pain of something being undone? For example, it is highly unlikely for there not to be dirty dishes out on the counter during the day, but I try to wipe the counters and put the dishes in the sink to do later. If you aren't able to get a shower, throw your hair up in a messy bun and put on mascara. If you don't have a chance to read the Word, turn on a sermon while folding clothes.
You are so productive that you probably will be a 'barefoot mama!'
Have You Sung Today?
Have you sung today, sweet sister?
Singing soothes the soul. Sometimes I just start singing whatever words I'm saying and make it silly and fun.
There have been times when I feel so overwhelmed by the tasks ahead of me and when I begin to sing, peace floods my spirit.
A few of my favorite 'rescue melodies' are:
As the Deer
Have Thine Own Way
More Love to Thee
Great is Thy Faithfulness
Give Thanks to the Lord
There is a Redeemer
Like a River Glorious
You have a beautiful voice, Bethany. Like an angel! Never stop singing.
Singing soothes the soul. Sometimes I just start singing whatever words I'm saying and make it silly and fun.
There have been times when I feel so overwhelmed by the tasks ahead of me and when I begin to sing, peace floods my spirit.
A few of my favorite 'rescue melodies' are:
As the Deer
Have Thine Own Way
More Love to Thee
Great is Thy Faithfulness
Give Thanks to the Lord
There is a Redeemer
Like a River Glorious
You have a beautiful voice, Bethany. Like an angel! Never stop singing.
Avoid the Tyranny of the Urgency
Life is not an emergency.
Sometimes I have to remind myself of this when I have a to-do list that I just can't seem to get completed or when I'm trying to cram too much in one day.
We can determine in our minds that a certain task must be completed today, but if it begins to stress us out, we need to remove the deadline.
I'm slowly getting more comfortable allowing more time to get things done in order to avoid the tyranny of the urgency.
The hardest part about this is not letting Ryan and Brady make you think their daily needs are an emergency!
There will be crying and whining...
to get out of bed,
for food,
to be held,
for toys,
to get out of the carseat,
and on and on and on:)
And we find ourselves rushing around like maniacs trying to meet their needs as quickly as possible (mainly so that the crying and whining will stop), when none of these things are truly life-threatening. Stay calm, Mama. You may feel terribly rushed inside, but you can slow down...just a bit;) They will be fine. Trust me, we all want the noise to stop, but it's not worth us running around like chickens with our heads cut off.
You're gonna rock at this!
Sometimes I have to remind myself of this when I have a to-do list that I just can't seem to get completed or when I'm trying to cram too much in one day.
We can determine in our minds that a certain task must be completed today, but if it begins to stress us out, we need to remove the deadline.
I'm slowly getting more comfortable allowing more time to get things done in order to avoid the tyranny of the urgency.
The hardest part about this is not letting Ryan and Brady make you think their daily needs are an emergency!
There will be crying and whining...
to get out of bed,
for food,
to be held,
for toys,
to get out of the carseat,
and on and on and on:)
And we find ourselves rushing around like maniacs trying to meet their needs as quickly as possible (mainly so that the crying and whining will stop), when none of these things are truly life-threatening. Stay calm, Mama. You may feel terribly rushed inside, but you can slow down...just a bit;) They will be fine. Trust me, we all want the noise to stop, but it's not worth us running around like chickens with our heads cut off.
You're gonna rock at this!
Determine to Value People Over Things
As with everything, there is a balancing act to this thought.
We don't want to be trashy, wasteful, or poor stewards of the things God has entrusted to us.
What I don't want to do though, is miss out on enjoying people because I'm consumed with preserving things-that will burn!
Cherish people. Use things.
Your kids will learn from you how much value to place in material possessions. Oh that they would see us treasuring Christ and people above all else!
I treasure you, Bethany!
We don't want to be trashy, wasteful, or poor stewards of the things God has entrusted to us.
What I don't want to do though, is miss out on enjoying people because I'm consumed with preserving things-that will burn!
Cherish people. Use things.
Your kids will learn from you how much value to place in material possessions. Oh that they would see us treasuring Christ and people above all else!
I treasure you, Bethany!
Tell Your Children that You Love Them and Delight in Them
As often as you can, take a little face in your hands and say, 'I love you so much.'
Tell them you have a secret and whisper, 'I love you' in their ear'.
Say it silly.
Say it seriously.
Say it daily.
Tonight, as I was putting Emmaline to bed, I told her how much I enjoyed her fun and sweet personality and that she makes me smile and laugh.
Let's be mom's who let our kids know we delight in them!
Tell them you have a secret and whisper, 'I love you' in their ear'.
Say it silly.
Say it seriously.
Say it daily.
Tonight, as I was putting Emmaline to bed, I told her how much I enjoyed her fun and sweet personality and that she makes me smile and laugh.
Let's be mom's who let our kids know we delight in them!
How To Raise a Pharisee
The key component to raising a Pharisee is this: Praise your child for being good and mention nothing about Christ.
One of the best pieces of parenting advice I received is to constantly point your children to Jesus for their strength to do any good and then when they do obey or show good character say something along the lines of, "Wow! Look what Jesus helped you do! Praise the Lord, you obeyed!"
Teach and model for your boys how to cry out to the Lord for His strength and grace and thank Him for the ways He works in our heart to do good.
One of the best pieces of parenting advice I received is to constantly point your children to Jesus for their strength to do any good and then when they do obey or show good character say something along the lines of, "Wow! Look what Jesus helped you do! Praise the Lord, you obeyed!"
Teach and model for your boys how to cry out to the Lord for His strength and grace and thank Him for the ways He works in our heart to do good.
Feeling like a Slave?
If I could sum up the hardest part about being a Mom to little ones, it would be the word, demanding. You are summoned to do things around the clock and the persistent way in which the requests are delivered is unlike anything you've ever encountered. Thankfully, as a nurse, you've had some previous experience of tending to people's needs, but as a mom, you cannot sign off after a shift. You are on call full time, 24/7, with no sick days or vacation time. Ok, sorry for being a bit pessimistic, but I'm talking about the hardest part of motherhood, here, not the best parts and I am somewhat venting after a rather long, arduous day:)
Shall I end on a more positive note, perhaps? As a mom, you get to fulfill the most Christ-like and glorious position in the world- that of a servant. Undoubtedly, some days you will feel like you are being forced into that position, but other days, you will gladly embrace the role and see the dignity in the calling--to serve, as Christ served you. Scripture says in Philippians 3 that Christ emptied Himself and I think motherhood truly allows the 'emptying' process to take place!
Flee the temptation to view yourself as a slave; embrace the calling to be a servant; experience the Holy Spirit filling you up as you are emptied of self...
You are a lot more natural at this than I ever was, dear sister!
Shall I end on a more positive note, perhaps? As a mom, you get to fulfill the most Christ-like and glorious position in the world- that of a servant. Undoubtedly, some days you will feel like you are being forced into that position, but other days, you will gladly embrace the role and see the dignity in the calling--to serve, as Christ served you. Scripture says in Philippians 3 that Christ emptied Himself and I think motherhood truly allows the 'emptying' process to take place!
Flee the temptation to view yourself as a slave; embrace the calling to be a servant; experience the Holy Spirit filling you up as you are emptied of self...
You are a lot more natural at this than I ever was, dear sister!
Become Friends with Steve Green
We love Steve Green. Emmaline cries out, "I want Steve Green!!" at bedtime and at nap time; in the car and at the library. Steve's Hide 'Em in Your Heart cd is dozens of Scripture verses set to catchy tunes and Emmaline has them all memorized. Betsy is learning too! She claps her hands when we sing "Give Thanks to the Lord" before meals and knows several words of Ephesians 6:1. But do you know who also benefits greatly from the songs? Me, of course! The Scripture I have memorized by learning these songs has been significantly helpful in nourishing my own soul and in shepherding my children's hearts. Thank you, Lord, for Steve!
The Quicker You Reach Your Own Limits, the Better You'll Be
I don't think I've ever had the words "I can't do this" run through my mind as often since having two kids. I don't like feeling weak, but that is exactly where God wants me to live, for when I am weak, He is strong. I don't like feeling like I'm at my wits end, but when was being desperate for God's power ever a bad thing?
Christianity 101, right?
Motherhood is where so many basic Christian concepts meet reality. Sometimes we just need the reminder to open our hands and surrender to our limitations as a human. He will be faithful to you, Bethany!
"It's just fine if you are struggling. There's nothing unspiritual about a struggle. In fact, that exactly where God wants you, because you will lay hold of Him. He will meet you there and you will never be the same again." -Mothering Upstream
Christianity 101, right?
Motherhood is where so many basic Christian concepts meet reality. Sometimes we just need the reminder to open our hands and surrender to our limitations as a human. He will be faithful to you, Bethany!
"It's just fine if you are struggling. There's nothing unspiritual about a struggle. In fact, that exactly where God wants you, because you will lay hold of Him. He will meet you there and you will never be the same again." -Mothering Upstream
Monday, November 21, 2016
Do the Next Thing
This next post goes along with my previous post and is an excerpt from an article reflecting on Elisabeth Elliot's quote, "Do the next thing"...
"We've forgotten that real life is mostly lived in the daily mundane. It's not lived on mountaintops and it's not impressive enough to be a Facebook status. It's a series of uncelebrated steps, of hidden habits...God has often written His story in the midst of every day affairs.
David was faithful to do what was before him even when he was caring for a bunch of sheep.
Moses spent four decades in the wilderness before God would use his staff to show His glory to all Egypt.
Ruth worked tirelessly gleaning in the fields.
What is that in your hand?
Take it and do the next thing.
What is your stone and sling, your staff, your field to glean?
You take care of the task before you, even if it's mind-numblingly mundane or breathtakingly scary.
Sometimes the next thing to do is hard...it's the last thing you feel like doing. But it's what He's put before you, and it's good.
-Colleen Chao
"We've forgotten that real life is mostly lived in the daily mundane. It's not lived on mountaintops and it's not impressive enough to be a Facebook status. It's a series of uncelebrated steps, of hidden habits...God has often written His story in the midst of every day affairs.
David was faithful to do what was before him even when he was caring for a bunch of sheep.
Moses spent four decades in the wilderness before God would use his staff to show His glory to all Egypt.
Ruth worked tirelessly gleaning in the fields.
What is that in your hand?
Take it and do the next thing.
What is your stone and sling, your staff, your field to glean?
You take care of the task before you, even if it's mind-numblingly mundane or breathtakingly scary.
Sometimes the next thing to do is hard...it's the last thing you feel like doing. But it's what He's put before you, and it's good.
-Colleen Chao
You Can Do More Than You Think
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
Today I faced a common scenario...
both girls needed fed and their diapers changed, the car was full of groceries needed to be unloaded and put away, the kitchen was messy, I was sweaty and hungry, the girls were fussy and tired...AHHH
In times like these, my head starts to spin and I'm tempted to think, "I CAN'T DO THIS. There are so many things demanding my attention all at once and I can't do it all!" I panic because I am desperately trying to figure out what to prioritize first and it seems that every task deserves first priority.
It's true. I cannot do everything at once. 😧
but, I CAN accomplish the responsibilities set before for me one at a time.
Brilliant, right??
I ask God to give me strength and trust that He will equip me for the tasks ahead.
I start with Betsy. She is exhausted, so I get her a bottle and put her to bed.
Emmaline is hungry and tired too, but I decide she can wait ten minutes while I get the groceries inside. Next I make her food and put away groceries while she's eating.
She is late to her nap, but, oh well, we will survive.
I am still sweaty and hungry but sometimes it's not about being comfortable every little minute. Cleaning the kitchen comes next then I take a shower and I even have time for a nap while the girls are down...Say WHA???
Remember, you can't do everything all at once, but you CAN accomplish a ton one task at a time.
Choose one thing to start with and move to the next...you're already great at this, Bethany!
Today I faced a common scenario...
both girls needed fed and their diapers changed, the car was full of groceries needed to be unloaded and put away, the kitchen was messy, I was sweaty and hungry, the girls were fussy and tired...AHHH
In times like these, my head starts to spin and I'm tempted to think, "I CAN'T DO THIS. There are so many things demanding my attention all at once and I can't do it all!" I panic because I am desperately trying to figure out what to prioritize first and it seems that every task deserves first priority.
It's true. I cannot do everything at once. 😧
but, I CAN accomplish the responsibilities set before for me one at a time.
Brilliant, right??
I ask God to give me strength and trust that He will equip me for the tasks ahead.
I start with Betsy. She is exhausted, so I get her a bottle and put her to bed.
Emmaline is hungry and tired too, but I decide she can wait ten minutes while I get the groceries inside. Next I make her food and put away groceries while she's eating.
She is late to her nap, but, oh well, we will survive.
I am still sweaty and hungry but sometimes it's not about being comfortable every little minute. Cleaning the kitchen comes next then I take a shower and I even have time for a nap while the girls are down...Say WHA???
Remember, you can't do everything all at once, but you CAN accomplish a ton one task at a time.
Choose one thing to start with and move to the next...you're already great at this, Bethany!
Claim FULL Responsibility for Caregiving
Just like marriage, you cannot go into parenting with a 50/50 mindset. You are definitely going to need Andrew's help, but the more you settle into the attitude of, "I've been with the kids all day and now it's HIS turn!"😤...well...you will live life miserable and frustrated.
Let's face it. Mothers do the majority of the caregiving when the kids are young and you know what? It is an awesome responsibility.
Let's embrace it. Give it your all! The Lord will equip you and strengthen you more than you ever thought possible.
I am really finding FREEDOM in this and I know you will too, my wonderful sister!!
Let's face it. Mothers do the majority of the caregiving when the kids are young and you know what? It is an awesome responsibility.
Let's embrace it. Give it your all! The Lord will equip you and strengthen you more than you ever thought possible.
I am really finding FREEDOM in this and I know you will too, my wonderful sister!!
It's OK to Relax Before You Work!
This is contrary to our very nature as Lesh women, right? We have a hard time sitting down when there is work to be done! But, you will burn out if you don't learn to rest because as a mom, (and you've heard our Mom say this plenty of times), there is ALWAYS work to do!
Right now, my kitchen is a wreck, but I am taking a breather before diving into cleaning mode. I've had a busy morning and just put the girls down to nap. The kitchen is not the way I like it, but I am learning to be ok with it and relax in the midst of it.
Here's the pay off: You will get it done faster after you recharge your batteries!
I'm so proud of the woman you have become, Bethany!
Right now, my kitchen is a wreck, but I am taking a breather before diving into cleaning mode. I've had a busy morning and just put the girls down to nap. The kitchen is not the way I like it, but I am learning to be ok with it and relax in the midst of it.
Here's the pay off: You will get it done faster after you recharge your batteries!
I'm so proud of the woman you have become, Bethany!
Don't be a Micromanaging Mama
I think this lesson I'm learning goes along with the following quote:
"Children need to know that they are not simply residents or houseguests. Their unique contributions help to make the home what it is." (unknown)
May we have grace to allow our kids to do things to add their special touch to the home. This means giving up my desire for things to be the way I think is best all the time. As long as our kids are making an effort to do a good job, it might be more helpful to not go behind them and correct the things they have done (i.e. cook, clean, fold etc.) They will continue to learn and improve their skills the more they do it, especially if they have confidence in their own ability and contributions.
Just something to chew on...not a black and white concept!
Just something to chew on...not a black and white concept!
After Kids Eat, They Poop
Always.
I don't know why I let this fact of life still catch me off guard. You have to put it in the schedule you know, because diaper changes take a few minutes...and these few minutes can make all the difference when you are running out the door to go somewhere.
Here's a little tip: When you have to be at church at 10am, you need to have the boys eat by 8am so that you can be sure they've done their business by 9am and you have plenty of time to change their diapers before you get in the car. And don't forget, you'll need to tack on at least 5 extra minutes to get loaded up as well as 5 minutes to get out of the car and into church.
You'll get the hang of it in no time! :-P
I don't know why I let this fact of life still catch me off guard. You have to put it in the schedule you know, because diaper changes take a few minutes...and these few minutes can make all the difference when you are running out the door to go somewhere.
Here's a little tip: When you have to be at church at 10am, you need to have the boys eat by 8am so that you can be sure they've done their business by 9am and you have plenty of time to change their diapers before you get in the car. And don't forget, you'll need to tack on at least 5 extra minutes to get loaded up as well as 5 minutes to get out of the car and into church.
You'll get the hang of it in no time! :-P
You Can Have JOY In the MESS
Yes! Even before things are the way you want them!
Okay, I know I'm stressing this a lot...and this might not even be your issue, but it is for me, so bear with me😚
One day I saw a picture of myself (in my head) crossing my arms and stomping my feet. "I will NOT smile until this mess is picked up! God made me to need order and I CANNOT function in this chaos! HMPHH!"
I realized then and there that I was acting like the biggest two year old.
While order is good, it is not always possible to attain,
BUT
Joy is.
Your house will most likely be the messiest it ever has been during this season of life and you can either stomp your feet and wear a frown until the kitchen is clean and the bed is made
OR
you can seize the joy that is available to you in that moment in Christ Jesus.
Don't buy into the lie that if you don't stress about it then it won't get done...or that if you don't fuss about it then you will become apathetic and lazy.
You are a hard worker, Bethany, and it will eventually get clean again, but in the meantime, challenge yourself to dance in the midst of laundry or go to bed with some dishes in the sink 😱
Smile at the faces who made the mess, Bethany. They are not burdens.
Go on! I dare you!
Okay, I know I'm stressing this a lot...and this might not even be your issue, but it is for me, so bear with me😚
One day I saw a picture of myself (in my head) crossing my arms and stomping my feet. "I will NOT smile until this mess is picked up! God made me to need order and I CANNOT function in this chaos! HMPHH!"
I realized then and there that I was acting like the biggest two year old.
While order is good, it is not always possible to attain,
BUT
Joy is.
Your house will most likely be the messiest it ever has been during this season of life and you can either stomp your feet and wear a frown until the kitchen is clean and the bed is made
OR
you can seize the joy that is available to you in that moment in Christ Jesus.
Don't buy into the lie that if you don't stress about it then it won't get done...or that if you don't fuss about it then you will become apathetic and lazy.
You are a hard worker, Bethany, and it will eventually get clean again, but in the meantime, challenge yourself to dance in the midst of laundry or go to bed with some dishes in the sink 😱
Smile at the faces who made the mess, Bethany. They are not burdens.
Go on! I dare you!
Sleep is Overrated... ;-)
Proverbs 31:5, "She rises while it is yet night..."
Proverbs 31:18, "...her lamp does not go out at night."
One day I was reading Proverbs 31 and it dawned on me that this woman most likely got very little sleep. I mean, according to the verses above, she quite possible was sleep-deprived. I felt myself in good company...she could understand me! However, despite her fatigue, the Bible says she set about her work with ZEAL. Verse 13b says she "works with willing hands."
Typically when we are tired, our hearts are very unwilling to do the work set before us...
We begin to gripe.
We lose momentum.
We do our chores begrudgingly.
And we justify all this in the name of being TIRED.
My dear sweet sleepy sister, there is good news:
Your zeal does not come from sleep. Your zeal comes from the Lord.
Seek His face this day and He will equip you with willing hands.
PS. Don't tell Mom I told you that sleep was overrated...she might hound me with articles 😆
Proverbs 31:18, "...her lamp does not go out at night."
One day I was reading Proverbs 31 and it dawned on me that this woman most likely got very little sleep. I mean, according to the verses above, she quite possible was sleep-deprived. I felt myself in good company...she could understand me! However, despite her fatigue, the Bible says she set about her work with ZEAL. Verse 13b says she "works with willing hands."
Typically when we are tired, our hearts are very unwilling to do the work set before us...
We begin to gripe.
We lose momentum.
We do our chores begrudgingly.
And we justify all this in the name of being TIRED.
My dear sweet sleepy sister, there is good news:
Your zeal does not come from sleep. Your zeal comes from the Lord.
Seek His face this day and He will equip you with willing hands.
PS. Don't tell Mom I told you that sleep was overrated...she might hound me with articles 😆
Worth It
Bedspread = $80
Time to make bed = 2 minutes
Countless hours tickling and cuddling squealing little ones on bedspread = WORTH IT
When I bought our new white comforter, I had planned it to be untouchable. "No one allowed on the bed unless the comforter is pulled back!" I declared. And then there was that time when I had just worked "strenuously" (for 2 minutes) to make the bed and Jared and Emmaline came leaping and bounding into the room and landed right on top of it. Giggles and squeals filled the air. Kisses and cuddles poured out in abundance. I stopped to soak it all in and consider my thoughts:
"We need to keep our things nice!"
"I just made that bed and now it is all messed up!"
"Yes...but it is just stuff....hmm...and look at how happy they are! I wouldn't dare interrupt this precious father/daughter moment over a wrinkled bedspread that can be fixed in seconds..."
The latter thoughts were planted in my head by the grace of God.
I chose to donate the comforter to tackles and tickles, to giggles and games; and it has been SO worth it. Make memories, not just a bed. ;-)
PS. This does not mean that our bed is always unmade, or that it is wrong to have a rule about messing up a bedspread....this is just a personal example and an encouragement to loosen the tight grip we might have on material things
Time to make bed = 2 minutes
Countless hours tickling and cuddling squealing little ones on bedspread = WORTH IT
When I bought our new white comforter, I had planned it to be untouchable. "No one allowed on the bed unless the comforter is pulled back!" I declared. And then there was that time when I had just worked "strenuously" (for 2 minutes) to make the bed and Jared and Emmaline came leaping and bounding into the room and landed right on top of it. Giggles and squeals filled the air. Kisses and cuddles poured out in abundance. I stopped to soak it all in and consider my thoughts:
"We need to keep our things nice!"
"I just made that bed and now it is all messed up!"
"Yes...but it is just stuff....hmm...and look at how happy they are! I wouldn't dare interrupt this precious father/daughter moment over a wrinkled bedspread that can be fixed in seconds..."
The latter thoughts were planted in my head by the grace of God.
I chose to donate the comforter to tackles and tickles, to giggles and games; and it has been SO worth it. Make memories, not just a bed. ;-)
PS. This does not mean that our bed is always unmade, or that it is wrong to have a rule about messing up a bedspread....this is just a personal example and an encouragement to loosen the tight grip we might have on material things
Reserve Loud, Intense "No-No's" for Life-threatening Situations
Sticky fingers about to touch a couch? Not life-threatening.
Neither are dirty feet about to run inside. The only times we should really try to stun our children with the volume of our voice in order to freeze them in their tracks is when they are about to do something dangerous. This is a hard trait to master, but I feel it is one which will bless our kids greatly. "Hey little one, you've got jelly on your hands, run quick to Mama to get them washed!"
"Wait a second, sweetie, your feet need scrubbed before you go inside!"
That'll do.
You're going to be the best mom ever, Bethany!
Neither are dirty feet about to run inside. The only times we should really try to stun our children with the volume of our voice in order to freeze them in their tracks is when they are about to do something dangerous. This is a hard trait to master, but I feel it is one which will bless our kids greatly. "Hey little one, you've got jelly on your hands, run quick to Mama to get them washed!"
"Wait a second, sweetie, your feet need scrubbed before you go inside!"
That'll do.
You're going to be the best mom ever, Bethany!
Learn to View Messes as Signs of Life
I get it.
You're tired of the mess. Tired of picking up the books for the millionth time. Tired of the endless piles of laundry and stacks of dishes.
Every now and then, put on some rose-colored glasses and look around...the crayons scattered on the table (and the floor), the messed up pillows on the couch, the sticky countertops...all these things are evidence of life lived.
We colored!
We read!
We ate!
It was a good day.
Thank the Lord for the LIFE behind the mess (YOUR BOYS!) and don't forget to ask Him for the strength to clean it up😉
You're tired of the mess. Tired of picking up the books for the millionth time. Tired of the endless piles of laundry and stacks of dishes.
Every now and then, put on some rose-colored glasses and look around...the crayons scattered on the table (and the floor), the messed up pillows on the couch, the sticky countertops...all these things are evidence of life lived.
We colored!
We read!
We ate!
It was a good day.
Thank the Lord for the LIFE behind the mess (YOUR BOYS!) and don't forget to ask Him for the strength to clean it up😉
The Mundane is Making You
It is not ten major events that sanctify us, but ten thousand small ones. The frustrations, inconveniences, annoyances, day in and day out tasks...these are what shape us and show us what is in our hearts. We cannot discount these "minor trials" as being random and meaningless. How we choose to handle them is imperative to our transformation.
"In everything a mother does, she is teaching her children. her little ways will be remembered the most, for they most accurately communicate character and commitment, faith, hope, strength, and love. She is a model to her children of how to embrace the day, respond to circumstances, manage emotions, enjoy both work and play. They will imitate her attitude toward life and will likely become what she believes them to be." -Mothering Upstream
"In everything a mother does, she is teaching her children. her little ways will be remembered the most, for they most accurately communicate character and commitment, faith, hope, strength, and love. She is a model to her children of how to embrace the day, respond to circumstances, manage emotions, enjoy both work and play. They will imitate her attitude toward life and will likely become what she believes them to be." -Mothering Upstream
Praise Music Solves a Multitude of Problems
Fussy baby? Turn on praise.
Gripes while cooking? Turn on praise.
Despair during bath time? Turn on praise.
Fuming over messes? You know what to do!
There is a reason why the harp calmed Saul's soul when he was tormented. Music is powerful and it is a gift from God to you. I don't think a day goes by where God does not use a song to lift my spirit and soothe my weary soul.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, "Music will help dissolve your perplexities and purify your character and sensibilities, and in time of care and sorrow, will keep a fountain of joy alive in you."
I could not agree more.
Gripes while cooking? Turn on praise.
Despair during bath time? Turn on praise.
Fuming over messes? You know what to do!
There is a reason why the harp calmed Saul's soul when he was tormented. Music is powerful and it is a gift from God to you. I don't think a day goes by where God does not use a song to lift my spirit and soothe my weary soul.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, "Music will help dissolve your perplexities and purify your character and sensibilities, and in time of care and sorrow, will keep a fountain of joy alive in you."
I could not agree more.
Don't Wait Until Your House is Clean to Get in the Word
You can do your housework two different ways 1. Irritable or 2. Joyful. There is a lot better chance of you doing your chores joyfully if you tackle them after you sit in Scripture a bit. Does this mean you have to wake up at the crack of dawn? Maybe...but:)...that's probably not realistic in these days of sleep-deprivation. A good goal is to dive in the Word as soon as nap time starts. The dirty kitchen and laundry can wait. Your soul cannot. It needs nourishment to survive and God's Word WILL revive your heart--check out Psalm 19! Love you, Beth.
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33
The Harder You Fight Against the Day God Has Planned For You, the More Frustrated You Will Be
This has always been true, with or without kids, but having children seems to accentuate this truth because rarely do your day to day plans work out anymore. A dirty diaper stands in the way of you getting out the door on time; a spit up lands on you new shirt or freshly mopped floors; a fussy baby keeps you from the quiet time you desperately desire.
Take a step back every so often and think about why you are frustrated. It usually comes down to this: something is getting in the way/hindering you from you being able to do what you want. Identify what that 'something' is that you want...now....
SURRENDER IT.
Easier said than done, I know, but here's the catch: tell God that you want it and that you will trust Him to allow you to accomplish it if He deems it necessary.
Personal example....Emmaline won't nap. I'm frustrated. Why? I wanted to fold laundry and journal and now I can't. I pray, "Lord, I really wanted to fold and write today...would you give me the time to do these things? If not, then I trust You that it is not what You have for me today."
He will not withhold any good things from those who love Him...Psalm 84:11
Take a step back every so often and think about why you are frustrated. It usually comes down to this: something is getting in the way/hindering you from you being able to do what you want. Identify what that 'something' is that you want...now....
SURRENDER IT.
Easier said than done, I know, but here's the catch: tell God that you want it and that you will trust Him to allow you to accomplish it if He deems it necessary.
Personal example....Emmaline won't nap. I'm frustrated. Why? I wanted to fold laundry and journal and now I can't. I pray, "Lord, I really wanted to fold and write today...would you give me the time to do these things? If not, then I trust You that it is not what You have for me today."
He will not withhold any good things from those who love Him...Psalm 84:11
God is Sovereign During the Day....and Night...
It is hard enough reminding ourselves that all of the mundane, seemingly insignificant details of our days are governed by our loving Lord, but don't forget, He plans the details of your night, as well. When you are woken up for the seventh time to calm a crying baby, embrace Proverbs 16:9 which says, "We can make our plans {plans=sleep}, but the Lord determines our steps." Take heart, dear sleepy sister! His mercies are new for you each morning.
You Are Never Too Busy to Spend Time with God
May we never adopt the mindset that in certain seasons of life, particularly motherhood, we won't have time or energy to commune with your Maker. I once heard it said that we don't have time not to get in the Word. Yes, post baby, there will be many sleepless nights and a very demanding schedule...your regular leisurely time with the Lord will take on a new rhythm...but, sweet sister, fight for consistency as if your life depends on it.
Pause.
Don't walk in guilt.
God knows the transition and adjustments you are facing as a new mom!
But.
Don't walk in apathy either and neglect the very thing that will revive and nourish your heart. In fact, you need to sit at God's feet during this time of life more than ever! His Word will RESTORE your soul.
I needed this reminder today...
Pause.
Don't walk in guilt.
God knows the transition and adjustments you are facing as a new mom!
But.
Don't walk in apathy either and neglect the very thing that will revive and nourish your heart. In fact, you need to sit at God's feet during this time of life more than ever! His Word will RESTORE your soul.
I needed this reminder today...
Your Body May Look a Little Different....and That's OK
Our bodies were meant to be used for the glory of God, not treasured for the glory of man. Right after you give birth to your precious Wooly Lamb (a.k.a. baby Wolfolk) your belly will feel like jelly and you probably will be carrying a few extra pounds, but give it just a few months and your body will start firming up again without you even trying:)
Don't cling to the body you had pre-pregnancy though... Chances are you may have some scars and signs of wear and tear....embrace these things as beauty marks😘 At the end of your life, your body should look well-used and not preserved.
Don't cling to the body you had pre-pregnancy though... Chances are you may have some scars and signs of wear and tear....embrace these things as beauty marks😘 At the end of your life, your body should look well-used and not preserved.
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